It was one of those almost nightmarish scenarios where you realise you are totally exposed. It wasn’t quite as bad as the recurring dream my friend has about pushing a shopping trolley around Morrisons, in her birthday suit, but it was bad enough. Somehow, in my dream, I had got myself a job promoting gym membership. Now trust me when I say I wouldn’t be anyone’s first choice to promote their gym. Perhaps I could make it as a ‘before’ photo, but I’ve somehow never got round to getting the necessary physique for the ‘after’ shots. Anyway, I digress. In this dream it was my job to stand in the high street, wearing nothing but a lycra leotard and one of those signs you see being held up by someone who wishes they’d done better in their GCSES, about a golf sale being around the corner, that sort of thing.
People, understandably, were looking at me agog and I think it was their laughing that woke me up in the end. I did one of those flinching, falling-from-a-cliff type jolts awake, giving my long suffering husband a swift kick in the shin in the process. So far, so weird you might be thinking. But I know exactly why I had this dream and it wasn’t entirely down to the birthday Prosecco consumed the night before. It was all about being exposed and thinking I’d somehow been given a role for which I was a complete fraud and that I was about to be found out any minute. Which is more or less how it feels to be published.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely thrilled, but I can’t quite believe it’s happening to me and that today marks the release of my debut full-length novel. I’m expecting someone to tap me on the shoulder any moment and ask me to move along, make room for the real authors. Getting somewhere with writing wasn’t something that happened to people like me and yet, once it did, it was a bit of a domino effect. I ended up with several potentially interested publishers for ‘Among A Thousand Stars’ and I’m so glad that I went with So Vain Books, as they’ve been beyond brilliant and I can’t recommend them enough.
Publication deals ended up being like buses and shortly after signing with So Vain Books, I had an offer on a pocket novel from DC Thomson, ‘No Time for Second Best’ which hits the shops tomorrow. So if you happen to read in the news online that a woman has been arrested for taking selfies in WHSmiths over the next two weeks, that will be me. DC Thomson have also bought another pocket novel from me and it will be their Christmas release this year, so Christmas shopping with me could be a trial whilst I see just how many shops I can spot it in! I also had an email this week, which could bring some more exciting news, but I’m not talking about that just yet, in case I really do jinx all this.
I’m not cool in any sense – my thirteen year old, who has the wit and merciless delivery of Joan Rivers, will attest to that – and I’m certainly not cool about being published. I’ve been getting stupidly excited by the lovely reviews for ‘Among A Thousand Stars’ and if I spot someone reading it on the beach this summer, they’re likely to have to take a restraining order out against me! But if someone as terminally uncool as me can become a writer, then anything is possible.
Blurb for Among A Thousand Stars by Jo Bartlett
When her mother turns up naked and proud during her first term at college, Ashleigh Hayes assumes that life can’t get any more embarrassing. Ten years later, with best friend Stevie at her side, and a successful career as a freelance photographer for monthly magazine Glitz, it looks like she might have finally got the hang of things. Only she seems to have inherited the embarrassment gene from her mother and her every encounter with new boss, Tom Rushworth, looks set to send her career spiralling backwards. Getting past their shaky start, Ashleigh and Tom embark on a relationship that was only ever meant to be a bit of fun. But when life, paparazzi and love-sick Labradors get in the way, they suddenly find themselves caught in a roller coaster ride of emotions.
‘The perfect feel-good read’ Kerry Fisher, Bestselling Author
‘A very funny and thoughtful look at relationships behind the lens – a really enjoyable and poignant debut’
My Reading Corner ‘Sharp and witty dialogues, realistic characters, laughing-out-loud and tear-jerking situations’ On My Bookshelf